To: All Employees
From: Program Director
RE: Special High Intensity Training Program
It is now and always has been the policy of this company to assure its employees are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity Training Program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any other company in the area.
If any employee feels that he or she does not receive enough SHIT on this job, or that he or she could advance to another position by taking more SHIT, see your immediate supervisor.
We have specially trained management to assure you that you will get all the SHIT you can take.